Author's Note: This story deals with a lot of inner conflict, yet optimism. A woman dying of cancer gets trapped in a cave but is still hopeful, and not very miserable, because she believes this is better than dying from the cancer. I tried to really portray that part of her character throughout the story. I also tried to use good word choice and syntactic patterns, which I find hard to incorporate into a fictional piece.
Staring into dark nothingness. Black particles weaving
together to create an impossible barrier, which I cannot break with my body,
nor my mind. I feel completely blind, my eyes are open, but I cannot see. I
only had two months to live, but now, I assumed I only had a day before
starvation and dehydration shut me down. Part of me was happy; my biggest fear
had been for my husband and kids to see me die. I had already said my goodbyes,
for I knew I could die any day. Clearly, God wants me to come see his house,
and my tasks on Earth are completed.
***
I was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer just under a
year ago. I went through 10 months of chemotherapy before they told me that it
wouldn’t work; the cancer continued to multiply. The warning came, and now I
had only two months to live. There was only one thing I wanted to do before I
died; write and publish one last book. I wanted to write about the incredible
wonders of the world, and why we should take time to admire them during our
time here. This is why I came to Wyndham Cave, about an hour away from my home
in San Francisco.
With my husband, Scott, waiting for me at the bottom of the
mountain, I had hiked up to this cave. It took about an hour to reach my
destination by foot, but it was well worth it. Thousands of crystal formations
clung to the walls and floor. They sparkled and reflected the little rays of
sunlight that crept into the cave. No living creatures seemed to be here; this
place seemed to be a sort of crystal palace of the animal kingdom.
I crouched to closer examine one of the formations, the
complexity yet simplicity of this grouping left me in disbelief. The glistening
color and smooth texture contrasted the chaotic patterns of jagged edges. I
began to write:
Wonder #1:
Wyndham Cave
Crystals
glistening, dim light reflecting and dispersing itself to all corners of the
cave. To the touch, the smooth surface of crystal formations gives off a
feeling of power and purity, so long as you don’t touch one of the jagged
edges. T
The entire cave began
to shake, and my pencil skidded across my lined paper. Finding myself flat on
my back, I attempted to get up so I could make my way out of the cave. I felt
as though thousands of tons of rock may collapse on top of me at any given
moment. Before I could get to the opening, the cave went dark and the shaking
ceased. I collapsed onto the floor, partly from fear and partly from
exhaustion. Crawling over to where the opening had been, I pushed as hard as I
could. Sadly, the rocks covering it were so tightly packed together; there was
little chance of a grown man breaking out.
***
This is how I came to be in my current situation. I’ve been
trapped for two days now; yesterday was spent desperately trying to contact my
husband on my phone, but there was no signal. Today was much more productive
though. I was able to clear a section of rocks and crystals so that I had a bed
of hard soil. Though my small supply of trail mix is long gone, I’m actually quite
satisfied with how I’m going to die. No more painful goodbyes with my husband
and kids, and an equal amount of suffering as there would be if my disease were
to take my life.
Over the last two days, I have also been doing a lot of
writing. Since I only had four senses that could explain the true beauty of
this place, and I obviously wouldn’t get to see anymore wonders, I decided to
take a different path in my book. It is now titled, How to See the True Beauty in Life. Considering that I only had two
days to write it, it turned out to be more of a short story or article. I spent
all of today writing this book in between naps. When I was finally finished, I
allowed myself to drift off into a deep sleep; my body needed it to make up for
the lack of food and water.
I awake slowly, a weird sensation spreading through my body.
My heart was beating hard, but very slow, and it seemed to be getting slower. I
knew this was the moment. One by one, I could feel my organs closing their
doors to the blood that wanted to flow through them. I felt my lungs close off
the air that wanted to flood their chambers, and lastly I felt my heart stop
beating. My soul was peeling out of my body, and I could no longer control any
part of me. I floated up, now seeing my corpse, which looked like me, simply sleeping.
I floated higher and higher, feeling unreal until finally arriving to a place I
seemed to know very well. Though I had never been here before, it felt familiar
and welcoming.
A very tall man, who seemed to be radiating power, and who
was surrounded by sparkling, beautiful women wearing a different kind of crown
welcomed me with pleasure. Although we had never officially met, they were
thrilled of my arrival. They led me to a huge golden room with rays of sunlight
shining in, and led me to the window. There, I looked out to see a scene on the
mountain where I had died. I saw my husband, walking along the mountain path
with two policemen. All three looked exhausted, I could tell that they had been
looking for me for days. One of the policemen stops right at the entrance of my
cave and cocks his head sideways. Carefully removing one rock at a time, he
eventually kicks down the wall and sees my corpse. He yells and motions for the
other police officer and my husband. My husband comes running, and with a look
of great sadness, kneels by my corpse. I see his shoulders begin to sag, and
bounce up and down as he sobs. He stops a moment, realizing that I’m in a
better place now. As the parties and festivities begin behind me, he looks up
towards the sky, right at me and blows me one last kiss.
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